Welcome to E! Fashion Emergency
by Stargazer4
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Snape was chosen to be on Fashion Emergency? Read and find out!


Author's Note: Hi! I worked hard on this fic, so enjoy!  
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to Ms. Rowling. Fashion Emergency and all its personalities belong to that great channel, E!. Madame Vestir, Gustav, and Osh are all my own!  
  
ACT I  
  
EMME: Welcome to Fashion Emergency, the show that gives hope to the fashionably challenged and challenges _them_ to try new styles. Today, we go to England to help two professors in need of some fashion advice. With the help of Leon Hall and Brenda Cooper, we'll teach these professors a lesson in style they won't soon forget! Our first assignment is Professor Severus Snape, a teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Let's see how we can raise the Professor's fashion grade!  
  
ACT II  
  
(Cut to video clip of a shaky home movie. Screen is blank, but FRED WEASLEY's voice can be heard.)  
  
FRED: Okay, it's invisible. Now make it hover. Good.   
  
(Close-up of Fred and GEORGE's smiling faces.)  
  
FRED: Hi, Fashion Emergency. I'm Fred Weasley and this is George. Our (grins widely) favorite professor is a fashion victim and needs some help.  
  
GEORGE: Extreme help.  
  
FRED: And we need you to help him out.  
  
(They start walking down a dark hall, lowering their voices as they crouch by a wall next to two giant double doors.)  
  
GEORGE: Professor Snape's a little shy...  
  
FRED: Modest  
  
GEORGE: Proud  
  
FRED: Psychotic  
  
GEORGE: Ssh!  
  
(The doors open and MADAM HOOCH brushes past the twins. Fred and George peer through the doors into the Great Hall, which is filled with students and teachers eating lunch.)  
  
FRED: (waves camera in) C'mon! Let's meet the Professor!  
  
(Fred and George, grinning, walk into the room. They pass the Gryffindor table.)  
  
OLIVER WOOD: Where have you guys been? We have another Quidditch practice tonight. Here... (points to seats next to him)  
  
FRED: Can't talk now, we're busy.   
  
HARRY: What are you guys up to now?  
  
GEORGE: We want to talk to Snape.  
  
HARRY: (looks suspicious) Why would you _want_ to talk to Snape?   
  
FRED: (grins at George) You'll see soon.   
  
(Fred and George walk away.)  
  
HERMIONE: (off-camera) What do you think it is?  
  
HARRY: (off-camera) They're always looking for trouble, Hermione.  
  
RON: (off-camera) Actually, they're _talking_ to it this time.  
  
(Fred and George head to the teachers' table. DUMBLEDORE is sitting in the center. To his left is MCGONAGALL, who is talking to SNAPE. The twins walk behind the table. Fred nods to George and heads to McGonagall. George stands behind Snape.)  
  
MCGONAGALL: (to Snape) Yes, I'm sure they are a good team, but Gryffindor has become such a credit to Hogwarts. Why, we are almost unbeatable... (looks and sees Fred next to her) Yes, Mr. Weasley?  
  
FRED: Professor, could you tell us what our Transfiguration homework was?   
  
(Snape turns uncomfortably to his left and sees George beaming at him. He scowls and quickly turns to face his soup.)  
  
MCGONAGALL: (in an annoyed tone) I'm sure you can ask one of your more attentive classmates, Mr. Weasley.  
  
FRED: Right. (He glances at George, who is pointing wildly at Snape. Snape is facing down into his soup.) Professor Snape... (Snape's spoon freezes in midair as he glares slightly toward Fred.) ...Professor, George has to ask you something about the Slytherin team.  
  
(Snape keeps his spoon in midair.)  
  
GEORGE: (clears his throat) Yeah, Professor. (in a lowered voice) Uh, ten knuts says Gryffindor wins the next match against Slytherin.  
  
MCGONAGALL: Mr. Weasley!  
  
SNAPE: (finally turns to face George, sneering) Twenty points from Gryffindor, Weasley. Ten for gambling and ten for interrupting my meal.  
  
(Snape pushes his chair away, backing George against the wall. Giving him one last sneer, he stands up and walks away.)  
  
MCGONAGALL: (sternly) It is against school rules to bet, Mr. Weasley. I hope to never hear such a shocking thing again!  
  
FRED: You won't, Professor, we promise.   
  
(Fred and George walk hurriedly to a corner of the room.)  
  
FRED: (in a lowered tone) That was a dumb thing to say! We didn't get enough footage!  
  
GEORGE: It got us his face, though. Wearing that twisted sneer. (laughs) They'll definitely pick him now!  
  
FRED: (to camera) Yeah! Did you see his greasy...  
  
GEORGE: grimy  
  
FRED: disgusting hair?  
  
GEORGE: And his pasty skin?  
  
FRED: And wait till you see him in class!  
  
GEORGE: Ssh! Some Slytherins are coming.  
  
(George's hand approaches the camera. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT III  
  
(FADE IN to a dingy room with students huddled over smoldering cauldrons. Fred and George are talking.)  
  
GEORGE: I forgot the hover attachment!  
  
FRED: It's okay. It's so small. Use this stuff to stick it to your hat. (Fred sticks camera to the brim of George's hat then speaks to it in a hushed voice.) Hi, Fashion Emergency! We're back and we're in Potions, taught by Professor Snape. (turns away and points) He's over there, helping some Slytherins. (turns back) George, turn your head to Snape.  
  
GEORGE: Oh yeah.   
  
(Snape is now visible, hovering over a student and pointing at a page.)  
  
FRED: Note the old, moldy robe. Have you ever seen a guy in greater need of new clothing?  
  
GEORGE: And check out the hair!  
  
FRED: It is so long and lanky. He's never cut it and... (voice trails off as Snape looks right at them.)  
  
GEORGE: Uh oh.  
  
FRED: (whispers fast) Here comes our close-up!  
  
(Snape walks menacingly toward them. Both Fred and George look down at their table.)  
  
SNAPE: (looking into their empty cauldrons) You have not started on your Itching Potion. Since you two seem to enjoy chatting more than potion brewing, I will see the both of you in detention, where I'll ensure that you get enough of each other. (Snape's arm is approaching the camera as he moves away. He unknowingly brushes the sticky camera and now Fred and George's faces pull away.)  
  
GEORGE: My hat feels lighter.  
  
FRED: (touches George's hat) It's gone!  
  
(Both look at each other before jumping to their feet. Their faces approach the camera, which is swaying along with Snape's arm.)  
  
FRED: Professor, wait!  
  
(The camera stops moving. Fred and George are gaping at Snape. Fred then leaps out and grabs Snape's arm.)  
  
Snape: (angrily) Weasley! (jerks arm away, image is shaky)  
  
FRED: (to George) I can't find it!  
  
(George now grabs Snape's upper arm. Snape tries to push them both away. Close-up of fingers.)  
  
GEORGE: Got it!  
  
(Snape gives a hard jerk and the room whizzes by)  
  
FRED: Oh no...  
  
(The wall is zooming toward the camera, and then the screen goes blank. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT IV  
  
(FADE IN to LEON HALL walking down a London street.)  
  
LEON: I'm Leon Hall and I'm here in London on my way to Hogwarts, ready to do some magic of my own.  
  
(Leon stops and snaps his fingers. Computer-generated "fairy dust" sprinkles over his image. FADE OUT. CUT TO Leon in same pose standing with Fred and George. The setting is different. The giant front doors of Hogwarts are behind him.)  
  
LEON: (puts hands on twins' shoulders) Here we are in front of Hogwarts with my assistants to makeover their favorite teacher, Professor Snape. (turns to them) So are you two ready to help me cast a spell on the Professor? (They nod and grin widely.) Let's begin!  
  
(All three turn to the doors. FADE OUT.)  
  
(FADE IN to Dumbledore's office. Leon and the twins are in chairs next to an amused Dumbledore.)  
  
LEON: I'm here with the Head of School, Albus Dumbledore. So Albus, how long have you known Professor Snape?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I've known him ever since he was a student here himself.  
  
LEON: That's a long time! And would you say he has always been a fashion victim?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (with twinkling eyes) Well, Severus has a unique style all his own.  
  
LEON: Translation - Fashion Catastrophe. Am I right, Albus? Well, I know you are the magic expert here, but I'm going to do a little sleight of hand myself.  
  
(Someone knocks on the door.)  
  
LEON: Ah! Here comes our pupil now!  
  
(Door opens and Snape walks in. He looks startled to see Leon and the camera crew. Dumbledore stands up and leads a hesitant Snape over to Leon.)  
  
LEON: Professor Snape! So good to meet you. (He puts out a hand that Snape doesn't take. Leon grabs Snape's hand and shakes it.) I'm Leon Hall with E! Fashion Emergency. Your two favorite students, Fred and George, think you need a makeover. Are you ready?  
  
SNAPE: (narrows his eyes at Leon, turns to Dumbledore) Headmaster, what is going on?  
  
LEON: Now don't be shy, Professor (He grabs Snape's arm. Snape tries to pull away.) We need to do something about... everything. The sooner the better.  
  
(As Leon drags Snape to the door, Snape seems to be searching for something in his robes. The Weasley twins are snickering and secretly show a wand to the camera. Snape is dragged out of sight. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT V  
  
(FADE IN to Leon standing in a shop with racks of clothing.)  
  
LEON: We're in Wizarding Wardrobe, looking for new outfits. I'm standing here with Madame Vestir...  
  
(Camera shifts to show a smiling witch, excited to be on TV.)   
  
LEON: ...and the rather uncooperative Professor Snape.  
  
(Camera moves farther to show Snape tied down to a chair with ropes, and a gag wrapped around his mouth. Leon is frowning.)   
  
LEON: Now Professor, you know I don't like restraining you like this (Snape glowers) but I will not let you run away again. You are in need of some style advice. (turns to MADAME VESTIR) Let's get started on the clothes, shall we?  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT VI  
  
(FADE IN to Leon and Madame Vestir standing next to a circular rack of robes. Snape is off to one side wriggling in his chair.)  
  
LEON: (pulls out a heavy-looking black robe) Can you tell me about this gorgeous robe?  
  
MADAME: Zis is vun of my favorites from ze Shawn Himes collection. Black pea-coat style robes are very in fashion now. Zis is double-breasted vith zee emerald buttons. See zee emerald stitching? Zis is made from high quality suede and is very warm.  
  
LEON: (lifts one sleeve and examines it) Yes, nicely made. I like the shape very much. What do you think, Professor? (Snape growls. Leon smiles.) Madame Vestir, can you help me put this on the Professor? (Snape looks up, alarmed.)  
  
MADAME: I vould be delighted to. (She waves her wand at Snape. Snape, still tied, is wearing the robe.) Looks nice, no?  
  
LEON: Heavens, yes! It's amazing what a new outfit can do! (Snape is looking down in shock and wriggles more in his seat.) The lines of the robe give you a crisp outline. Very nice. But it seems to be a little thick for regular wear. (Leon turns back to the rack and pulls out another robe.) Now this one looks much cooler and very casual.  
  
MADAME: Yes, zis is by Hareena Witch. Very relaxed. It is 100% cotton and aqua blue. (waves wand and the robe is on Snape)  
  
LEON: Hmm, it's a little stiff all buttoned up. How about if we unbutton the robe and match it with a floor-length white T-shirt underneath?  
  
MADAME: (waves wand) Very nice.  
  
LEON: And why don't we roll up the sleeves to the elbows? There - now when was the last time you wore color, Professor? (Snape glares at the ceiling, trying not to look at the robe.) Okay, next outfit!  
  
(Madame Vestir pulls out a pitch-black robe.)  
  
LEON: He's in dire need of color, Madame!  
  
MADAME: Zis is a two-piece robe.   
  
(She pulls back the black to show an inner layer of deep red.)  
  
LEON: Ooh, very nice! I like that high red collar. And the 3/4 length sleeves are very trendy. (Madame waves her wand.) This looks very nice on you, Professor. The red adds a nice dramatic influence. I think we've found a winner. But let's try on a few more, shall we? Madame, what do you have that is really popular?  
  
MADAME: (pulls out two robes) Zees are very popular vith our college students. Zis is a dark blue denim robe. I personally love ze flared sleeves. And zis is a cargo robe. Zere are pockets along ze sleeves and lower ends of ze robe.  
  
(Snape is by now wearing a horror-stricken expression.)  
  
LEON: Hmm... very comfortable. But I think we may need something more elegant for him.  
  
MADAME: (pulls out a robe) Zis is our Tuxedo robe for formal occasions. It comes vith a floor length white-collar shirt. It is a black knee-length robe.  
  
(Snape is wriggling in the background.)  
  
LEON: This would look nice with a black tie. Let's try it on. (Madame waves her wand and both look approvingly at Snape.) This fits you nicely! It's perfect for a fancy date! (Snape stops wriggling to glare.) I think that of all the robes we've looked at, the two-piece scarlet and black robe is my favorite.  
  
(Madame waves the robe on to Snape.)  
  
LEON: Now where are my twins? (Fred and George are ushered to the camera.) How do you think your professor looks?  
  
(They all turn to look at Snape, who is no longer in the chair. He has managed to loosen the ropes and is now standing, heaving with rage, and wearing his new robe. He gives them one glare before jolting away, the camera trailing after him.)  
  
FRED: Don't worry, Leon! Territa Cuticula!  
  
(Fred picks up his wand and points it at Snape. Snape runs off camera, little realizing he is now wearing a hot pink bikini with butterfly clips in his hair. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT VII  
  
(FADE IN to a stern-looking Leon. On his right is a smiling BRENDA COOPER and on his left is a sullen but unbound Snape with Fred and George close by. Leon looks ruffled, with his suit slightly wrinkled and his hair in need of some combing.)  
  
LEON: (no longer smiling) Welcome back to Fashion Emergency. I'm Leon Hall and I'm here with the enchantress, Brenda Cooper.  
  
BRENDA: Why, thank you very much!  
  
LEON: We're here to conjure up some style for our friend (frowns), Professor Snape. We managed to catch the Professor after his little escapade. (turns to Fred and George) Keep an eye on him. (turns to Snape, waving a finger accusingly) You know what will happen if you run again. And I won't tell them to change you back next time.  
  
(Snape doesn't say anything to Leon, but just glares.)  
  
LEON: Now Brenda, we need to help the Professor with his hair and skin. Any ideas?  
  
BRENDA: (walks over to Snape and eyes him) Professor, you have neglected your hair long enough. (raises her hands to her temples and closes her eyes, as if concentrating) I predict that (opens her eyes) you will rub the lamp of style.   
  
(Brenda starts waving her arms dramatically to the camera.)  
  
BRENDA: Now I'll just say the magic words... Prest-o Chang-o!  
  
(Snape rolls his eyes as screen goes blank. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT VIII  
  
(FADE IN to Snape in a barber's chair, leaning back, with his hair in a sink filled with now murky water. Brenda is standing next to him.)  
  
BRENDA: Hello! We're at Gustav's Hair Salon, getting ready to cut Professor Snape's hair. (turns to Snape, clasping her hands together) Isn't this _so_ exciting?   
  
SNAPE: Utterly.  
  
BRENDA: (reaching for a man next to her) This is Gustav Calwuz himself. Gustav, what do you have planned for our student of style?  
  
GUSTAV: Well, we first must wash his hair. Then we will cut it so that it flatters his face. Maybe add a few highlights.  
  
BRENDA: What are we waiting for? Let's begin!  
  
(GUSTAV walks over to the sink, looking at the clouded water. He pushes his sleeves up and hesitantly holds his hands over the sink. He then turns back to Brenda.)  
  
GUSTAV: Actually, my assistant will be washing his hair... let me go get her.  
  
(Gustav walks off. After a few seconds, a shriek occurs off-camera and a girl cries, "Not after what crawled out of there! I don't care how much you pay me." Then a few moments later, a girl walks reluctantly over to Snape's sink.)  
  
ASSISTANT: (looks into sink and whispers) Oh gross.  
  
(ASSISTANT squirts some shampoo into her hand, looks back into the sink, and squirts out a lot more. She closes her eyes and plunges her hands into the water.)  
  
(Brenda looks relieved and concerned at the same time. She turns and smiles at the camera. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT IX  
  
(FADE IN to Snape sitting upright in the barber's chair, his hair still wet. Brenda is standing behind him.)  
  
BRENDA: (cheerfully) Hi! We're back. I have something to show you! (ZOOM IN as she lifts a few strands of Snape's hair) I thought he had black hair, but after we washed it, we saw that it is actually dark brown.  
  
(GUSTAV appears)  
  
BRENDA: So Gustav, what will we be doing with the Professor's hair?  
  
GUSTAV: (critically examines the hair) Well, we've washed his hair with a pro-vitamin clarifying shampoo and used a deep moisturizing conditioner. For a fuller look, I will be layering the front and tapering the sides.   
  
BRENDA: Before we start, we have a special guest for the Professor, for moral support.  
  
(Snape looks up and his eyes widen on spotting someone. Leon approaches the camera with a smiling LOCKHART next to him. Snape jumps from his chair.)  
  
LEON: (alarmed) Fred, George...  
  
(Snape pauses then sits back down. He doesn't take his eyes off Lockhart.)  
  
LOCKHART: Severus, I am so proud of you! I just had to come and see this for myself. (turns to camera) Hello, to all my fashion friends! I am (dramatic pause) Gilderoy Lockhart. (turns to Leon and Brenda) So what are we doing now?  
  
BRENDA: We are just about to cut the Professor's hair.   
  
LOCKHART: Right!  
  
(Lockhart and Gustav both reach for the scissors. Lockhart gives Gustav a puzzled look.)  
  
LOCKHART: My good man, I am here to cut Severus' hair, something I've wanted to do for a long time.  
  
(Snape looks alarmed. Both he and Gustav speak at the same time.)  
  
SNAPE: If you think _he's_ going to...  
  
GUSTAV: Excuse me, but this is _MY_ salon. Only _I_ cut the hair here.  
  
(Gustav snatches the scissors back. Lockhart looks glum. Gustav starts clipping hair. After a few moments, Lockhart moves near Gustav again.)  
  
LOCKHART: Oh, you are doing it all wrong! How is he going to have curly hair if you chop everything off?  
  
(Lockhart pulls out a wand and fliks it at Snape's head. Snape grips the sides of the chair, looking at the mirror in horror. His hair resembles a very frizzy, very poofy, dark-haired Shirley Temple.)  
  
LOCKHART: (accusingly) Severus, you moved!  
  
GUSTAV: What have you done?! You have messed up everything!  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT X  
  
(FADE IN. Snape is sitting, glaring at the camera, his head resting on his fist. His hair has been fixed and cut by Gustav.)   
  
BRENDA: (excitedly to camera) Isn't his hair looking nice? Tell us what you did, Gustav.  
  
Gustav: Well, after I put on straightening cream and anti-frizz hair serum (glares off camera, presumably at Lockhart), I cut his hair in layers and put in some gel. We just need to dry his hair now. It is a low maintenance hairstyle, which should suit him just fine.  
  
BRENDA: Hear that, Professor? (Snape grumbles something inaudible.) Great work, Gustav! Thank you! (turns to Snape) Can you guess where we are off to?  
  
SNAPE: The suspense is killing me.  
  
BRENDA: (clasps her hands) The manicurist! (She grabs Snape's arm and pulls him up while turning to the camera) Let's take the wizard to Emerald City!  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT XI   
  
(FADE IN. Snape is under a giant dome-shaped hair dryer, his hands spread out in front of him on a table while Lockhart contentedly files Snape's nails. Snape is giving the camera a chilling, deadly glare for daring to tape him. Brenda and Leon wave to the camera. FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT XII  
  
(FADE IN. Snape is in a reclining chair with Brenda and another woman standing in front of him.)  
  
BRENDA: We are with Osh Pulvo, the premier dermatologist in London.  
  
(OSH PULVO, an extremely tall and imposing woman with a thick Russian accent, looks at Snape's face and tsks while shaking her head.)  
  
OSH: What you have done here? (She pokes his cheek)  
  
(Snape swats her hand away. Osh gives Snape's hand a hard, loud slap. Osh takes her fingers and stretches his skin this way and that way, opening his eyes wider every once in a while, the whole time tsking.)  
  
BRENDA: Osh, tell me... what can you do?  
  
OSH: I do not know... this is very difficult case. His skin is bad, bad shape. (Pinches his cheek and pulls it hard, making Snape cringe) Where do I even begin?  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT XIII  
  
(FADE IN to same scene, except now there is a table loaded with various bottles, cans, brushes, and pencils.)  
  
BRENDA: Osh, being the expert, what tricks do you have up your sleeve to turn our frog into a prince?  
  
OSH: Well, Brenda, I must tell you this will take some work. But I am capable.   
  
BRENDA: (smiles and puts her hands on Osh's and Snape's arms) Then let's begin!   
  
(Osh walks right up to Snape, who is reclining in a chair and facing the ceiling. She stares hard down on him.)  
  
OSH: First I must give his face a good scrubbing.  
  
(She reaches to the table and grabs a bar of soap and a wet scrub marked 'Heavy-Duty.' She gives Snape's face a good swipe. Snape howls and moves out of his seat. Osh takes one large hand and pins Snape down by his neck.)  
  
OSH: You sit.  
  
(Osh scrubs his face for about five minutes. Finally, she sets the brush down. Snape's face is bright red.)  
  
OSH: Okay, I finished exfoliating.  
  
BRENDA: (reaches for a bottle) Now time to moisturize?  
  
OSH: (studying Snape's face again) No. I cannot look any longer at these eyebrows. (pokes one) Something must be done.  
  
(Osh grabs a pair of tweezers. Snape gives an involuntary shudder and grips the armrests harder. Osh starts working away lightening fast on the eyebrows. Brenda winces. She then sees the camera and after giving it an anxious look, smiles.)  
  
OSH: Much better. (puts tweezers down) Now I must repair years of neglect. Brenda, hand to me this bowl.  
  
BRENDA: What is in here?  
  
OSH: It is my special mud mask treatment.  
  
(Snape looks panicked. He jumps from his chair.)  
  
SNAPE: I WILL NOT put on a mud mask.  
  
(Osh uses her hand to shove him back into the chair.)  
  
OSH: You sit.  
  
(Snape tries to get up but cannot.)  
  
BRENDA: (enthusiastically) I love masks! Osh, can I help you?  
  
(Osh nods, sticks her hand in the bowl, and smears mud on Snape. Brenda giggles and does the same thing. Snape's whole face is soon hidden under the mask. Brenda then places two cucumber slices over Snape's glaring eyes. FADE OUT.)  
  
Act XIV  
  
(FADE IN to a grim Snape sitting upright in the chair, with Brenda and Osh hovering nearby. The mud mask and cucumbers are gone. Snape's face appears much cleaner and neater. He is no longer pasty and looks almost tanned.)  
  
BRENDA: Hello all! I am here with Professor Snape and that miracle worker, Osh. He looks marvelous! Osh, you are a genius! Are you impressed, Professor? (Snape glares)  
  
OSH: After the mud mask, I put some moisturizer on the face, and finally I put a tanning lotion for the skin.  
  
(Osh turns to Snape while holding a brown bottle.)  
  
OSH: You must put this on everyday.  
  
(Snape pushes the bottle away and glares at her. Osh grabs his hand and shoves the bottle into it.)  
  
OSH: You WILL put this on everyday.  
  
BRENDA: This has been SO exciting! Thank you so much, Osh! We have to go and take the Professor back to school. Leon and Gilderoy have been hanging out in the lobby.   
  
(Brenda grabs Snape's sleeve and walks him into the next room. Leon and Lockhart are indeed standing there, but Leon has an annoyed expression.)  
  
LOCKHART: Leon, Leon. I'm sure you may know a thing or two about hues, but that auburn tie really clashes with that suit.  
  
LEON: Yes I DO know a thing or two about hues, and I happen know this tie complements my suit.  
  
LOCKHART: Now, if it were more of a mahogany (raises his wand)  
  
LEON: (catching Lockhart's arm) If you twitch that stick again, Goldilocks, I'm going to...  
  
BRENDA: (steps in front of the camera and says loudly) Actually, I think Leon and Gilderoy will arrive later on. The Professor and I will see you all there!   
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT XV  
  
(FADE IN. The Great Hall is filled with talking students and teachers. A cheery Dumbledore is sitting at the head of the teacher's table with a rather excited McGonagall. Next to her, Snape's seat is empty. The murmurs die away as Leon enters the hall and walks over to the teacher's table.)  
  
LEON: Hello, all you students and teachers of Hogwarts. Fashion Emergency has been delighted to makeover one of your most illustrious professors.   
  
(Ron is jabbed by George.)  
  
Harry: (whispers) Is this what you guys were up to?  
  
Ron: (smiling) This is gonna be great!  
  
Leon: Witness the transformation... I give you Severus Snape!  
  
(Leon throws his hands dramatically to the double doors. The doors swing open and everyone gasps. Snape is standing in the door flanked by Brenda and a stern Osh who is gripping his arm. He is wearing the new black and red robe.)  
  
Ron: No way!  
  
Hermione: He actually looks nice!  
  
(Snape shoots a glare across the room.)  
  
Harry: I wouldn't say _nice_.  
  
(As Snape walks in, the room fills with applause, cheers, hoots, and whistles. Snape only manages to silence those he glowers at.)  
  
FRED: Check out his new haircut, guys!  
  
RON: Did he really wash his hair?  
  
GEORGE: (grins) Yes. And if you want to know everything else he did, you'll have to order one of our tapes. (pats his camera)  
  
FRED: Got it all on tape, didn't we, George?  
  
GEORGE: Already have 37 pre-orders of pure Snape torture!  
  
(Snape is now sitting in his chair, his face flushed, still being gripped by Osh.)  
  
BRENDA: What do you all think? (Cheers flood the hall again.) Well, that's not all we have in store for you!  
  
LEON: No, we have one more person we need to help. (All teachers watch nervously as he walks around the table.) And that person is... Professor McGonagall!  
  
(McGonagall's eyes fly open as Leon heads to her. Leon helps her to her feet. She moves rather gingerly as he tries to pull her out of the Great Hall)  
  
LEON: Professor, now don't you be difficult, too...  
  
(They exit the hall, but moments later, there is a crash from the hallway, then loud footsteps running away. A pig wanders into the Great Hall, squeeling. Dumbledore hurries out of his seat and runs down to the doors.)  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (loudly) Now, Minerva, I think you should change him back...  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
ACT XVI  
  
(FADE IN to Emme.)  
  
EMME: Hello again! I hope you enjoyed our show for today. We here at E! wish Professor Snape the best of luck with his new look. And for those of you concerned about Leon, don't worry. He has been changed back to normal and is now resting. Gilderoy Lockhart has volunteered to substitute for Leon while he recuperates. I hope you learned that fashion is for everyone and if you wear what makes you feel good, you will get an A+ in style on your next report card!  
  
(FADE OUT.)  
  
Another Author's Note: Hi again! Did you like it? This is my first fic here. Please review and tell me what you think... I can take it. Thanks to my sister for the idea about adding Lockhart and about Snape under that hair-dryer. He he, I don't think he'll forgive you for that! Thanks to all my sisters for proof-reading this! I'm also here to apologize to Snape for everything I put him through. You're awesome, Snape!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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